Common Sense?

Little Cog has a great post about this…

I often think this is the best solution. Yeah, it would take a lot of work. Laws would need to be defined. Sure some feelings would be hurt, but in the end government shouldn’t recognize marriage.

A marriage is between my God, my bride, and myself. Everyone else doesn’t matter.

There are a couple of stories I’ve heard on this that have formed my opinion. One had to do with a solider that came back from war only to find out his wife divorced him and took on a partner. He was paying alimony (maybe still is) but since the state doesn’t recognize her partnership, he’s screwed.

The second one was an article I read about a homosexual couple a long while back. One of the partners had AIDS. The other stuck it out with him. The guy’s family had disowned him because of his sexual preference. When the guy died, his family suddenly appeared and took everything. Leaving his partner with nothing. That burned me.

So I finally came to the conclusion: Marriage is a sacred pack between a man and a women made before God. It’s in every “sermon” / homily I’ve heard. Government needs to butt out.

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4 Responses

  1. Your stories are rough and a good illustration of why the government has no business being in the marriage game :-\

  2. Gays marrying doesn’t actually bother me. Sloppy libertarian piffle like this does.

    The word you meant to use in that last paragraph was “pact” not pack. As in contract. Which our government does have a legitimate function in enforcing, just as it does with any other.

    The recognition by the community of the marriage has always been a part of marriage. Still is.

  3. …and our government isn’t recognizing a “pact” between two consenting adults based on their sexes and sexual preferences. This is something government shouldn’t do. In fact, it should be offering protections to all. I’m advocating what I believe is an amicable solution. Being the sloppy libertarian I am – I’ve never been called that before – simply believe that government get out of the marriage game. Yes, it’s an all or nothing proposition, but I think it’s necessary for some semblance of equality under the law.

    Society can still recognize marriage in any form it wants…but government will recognize it differently.

  4. A contract is when two or more parties agree on something formally. A marriage contract is the beginning of a new family. Conflicts often arise when contractual obligations are not met and they are especially contentious when familial obligations are not met. A disinterested third party deciding, say – I don’t know – a judge, is in society’s best interest. Hence the state becomes involved.

    But what I want to know is: Why is your “solution” any more amicable than simply saying gay men and lesbians may marry each other and have all the same rights and responsibilities with each other as straight couples?

    And how is it any more of a “solution” than people going to the ballot box and voting to say that they’re willing to tolerate homosexuality, but that they aren’t going to endorse it by recognizing their marriages? (Which is what happened in California.)

    It isn’t any more amicable and it isn’t any more of a solution to just get the government out of it. It’s a cop out. It’s splitting the baby in half to be “fair”. It’s an attempt to avoid conflict in the courts and at the ballot box. But you aren’t going to. Gays are born that way and it’s very likely that homophobes are too.

    It is also proof of what I was saying.

    The community recognizes the marriage, formalizing it. Think about it. Even in a marriage that doesn’t have a license – common law – what is required? That you represent yourselves as married to others, in one way or another. Why do the others matter? Why should the church matter or witnesses?

    Formality matters to us. Next time you fill up your tank, think about the difference between paying for the gas with legal, formal tender or paying with an IOU. If you find a gas station that will take the latter, please tell me where it is. It matters in relationships as well. Married couples behave differently than cohabitating couples, even if they cohabitated previous to the marriage. Making it “legal” changes things, some of them for the better.

    Like it or not, you and your girl aren’t an island. Your marriage affects your immediate family, your extended family, your church, your neighborhood, everyone around you. You say a marriage is simply an agreement between you, your bride and the deity of your choosing. I say that’s bullshit. I say that’s the way you want it to be, but it isn’t. 5000 years of recorded human history and reams of scientific research back me up. You have wishful thinking.

    You’re saying that the community doesn’t necessarily mean the government. But why shouldn’t it in this case? So that people who DON’T want to recognize or endorse the marriage don’t have to. That’s your solution. It’s inherently an encouragement of segregation, not an elimination of it. It sacrifices all the benefits of family law so that social cons can feel better about themselves or so that gays can feel accepted, but without actually resolving anything. What a waste of time and energy you’d impose on everyone just so you don’t have to take a position on the subject.

    As I said, gays marrying doesn’t bother me. What’s wrong with marriage in this country isn’t that the gay community wants in on it. It’s that we breeders have cheapened it. We’ve turned marriage into a romantic gesture that makes breaking up expensive. We have fundamentally misunderstood it and built our current civil laws around those misunderstandings. Those laws need to be changed, not repealed. Babies and bath water. But we’ll save that for a whole post. This retort is too long as it is.

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